It's one hell of a workout.

I am lucky to be writing this. I am lucky to be writing anything. It is a good thing that a keyboard requires the barest minimum of energy expenditure to use. My arms are dead. I have begun the 30 day Shred.

The 30 Day Shred? you ask. What is that? Well, it is a 20 minute torture fest helmed by that she-devil, Jillian Michaels. Yes, that Jillian Michaels. The Jillian Michaels who bullies motivates the participants on the Biggest Loser. I must admit that I have not watched the show. Ever. So I was not prepared.

But is is only 20 minutes you say. How bad could 20 minutes be? Well let's discuss the aforementioned arms. It is true that they are not sore. They are not achy. The sad truth is I cannot feel them at all. AT ALL. They are useless flesh sticks dangling sadly off of my shoulders. My 7 month old does not understand why I can't pick her up and administer to her needs. I have to change diapers with my toes and mouth. She had to learn to feed herself. Oh and we have to spend our days in my bedroom because I cannot get out of bed. Why?

The abs. Oh the abs. I have had a baby. I had slightly prolonged Abdominal Diastisis. I was pretty sure that I didn't have abs anymore. Then along came Jillian Michaels and hey, wow, what do you know. I do have abs. And now that don't work. They are so sore they won't support my upper body. So it's good that I am staying in bed. I am pretty sure I would scare my daughter if I shuffled around the house flopped over at the waist with my arms dangling to the floor.

But surely you could leave the bed. I mean, you could at least hang out on the couch. Then the baby could use her exersaucer and play with her toys. Well sure I could, I could head DOWN THE STAIRS. But that would require moving my legs. Not shuffling but actually creating an angle with my knees. I would have to lift one leg and place it on a stair and then that leg would have to be able to support my body as the other leg descended. Oh and they would have to do this on their own, no help from my arms. Oh and did I mention that my daughter weighs more than 20 pounds? It's not like I can roll her down the stairs so presumably I will have to figure out how to strap her securely to my body. 'Cuz I can't use my arms, remember?

Although rolling may be an idea. I could fashion some kind of counter-weight elevator device to lower my daughter to the bottom of the stairs. I could then coach her on crawling (she hasn't quite got the fine points down yet). Once she is out of the way I could roll myself down the stairs and using that momentum I could make it to the kitchen. Once there I could use my freakishly dexterous feet and toes to prepare some food. Although once I am there I am pretty sure I could not get myself up off the floor. And the kitchen floor is cold... and hard... and dirty.

Okay so no go. Baby can hang here. She's got all the food she needs and I am pretty sure I left a granola bar somewhere around here. I'm good.

But I am pretty sure the 30 day Shred is supposed to be done 30 days in a row. Hmmm. HMMMMMM.

Not gonna happen.

Sometimes Vancouver Driver's are just A-holes

Okay, so I realize that almost everyone has said this about almost every city that has cars. And I am not saying that Vancouver drivers are specifically worse than any other city. They are just A-holes. Rude, in a hurry, generally oblivious, they make pedestrians and fellow drivers feel like they take their lives in their hands every time they leave their house.

Case in point. I take a walk with my Darling Daughter every day. We live on the corner of a fairly busy intersection but it is heavily surrounded by residential street. There is also a fairly major bike route one block over so we have the added bonus of some wonderfully maintained paths. This makes for a wonderful walking experience and one that I look forward to taking. What I do not look forward to is dealing with all of the A-hole drivers I encounter on the way to the wonderfully maintained path.

My top five personal favourites:

1. Non-signal guy who is going to secretly turn right at the intersection without letting anyone know - especially the mom with the baby carriage who is trying to decide if it is safe to cross.

2. The bone head turning right who isn't paying any attention at all and blows by the pedestrians about to step out because they have a cross signal.

3. The idiot-stick turning right who has seen the pedestrians, knows they are about to cross, has made EYE CONTACT with the pedestrians holding their babies in their arms and still takes the corner as fast as he can without regard for the walk signal.

4. The impatient chick who is turning left and drives right up to the cross walk - sitting in the middle of the oncoming traffic lane and glares impatiently at the pedestrians crossing with the signal. (I have seen this driver reap her Karmic reward with the crossing of very old lady and the change of a light a block away, bringing lots of oncoming commuter traffic)

5. The stupid-ass new driver, with their parent purchased quasi performance vehicle driving 1000 100 km an hour up a pedestrian laden, bicycle heavy side street talking on the phone.

ERGGGG.

Please feel free to share your bad-driver stories- I would love some commiseration.

It is snowing in Vancouver

Yes folks, you heard correctly, it is snowing in Vancouver. SNOWING ON APRIL 1st.

That is just not right.

Excuse me while I crawl back under the covers...maybe I'll come out in May.

Maybe.

Weekend Rants and Raves

I had a very busy weekend bopping around all of the interesting blogs taking part in the Ultimate Blog Party 2009. So I don't have too many rants and raves other than a big rave for all of the great posts I read and all of the great blogs out there.

A big rave for successfully finding very cute shoes to complete the Darling Daughter's Easter outfit. She is going to wear the Embroidered Party Dress in fresh from the Children's Place

and my mom found a pair of Jack and Lilly shoes that are just perfect. After seeing pair after pair of hard soled, plastic dress shoes it was great to find shoes with a flexible, soft sole, made of quality, breathable leather. Once I read the package and found that they were podiatrist approved I was even happier with these shoes.

The shoes actually bring me to my rant - why is it so difficult to find appropriate shoes for a baby who may have slightly larger feet than average. And what the heck is average nowadays? It seems to me that almost every baby is not wearing the actual size that corresponds to their age. Everyone seems to accept that their child will wear a size between 3 and 6 months older than their child is. Which isn't a huge problem except for pants (they often stop having snaps on the legs after 12 months - so my 6 month old is mostly out of this size - and these are essential for easy diaper changes) and shoes. I don't want my baby in hard soled shoes with a heel - even if she is wearing a size 4 infant shoe!

Thankfully I have found Jack and Lily and their cute shoes should do the trick until the Darling Daughter is a little older.

Raising a Girl

I have to admit that when I was pregnant and wondering what the sex of child might be, I was always a little afraid of having a girl. I would tell people this and they would usually look at me like I was crazy - "afraid of having a girl - but you ARE a girl, what could be easier?" Umm first, obviously I know I am female (pregnancy hormones would usually demand the immediate thwacking of the respondent's head - resist, resist). Second, the fact that I am female is the very reason I was worried. It's hard to be a girl (and before you get all up in arms about how hard it is to be a boy, I KNOW it's also hard to be a boy, I have three brothers, but I also have an amazing husband and I had every confidence that HE would be able to fill in any gaps in my ability to help raise our potential son) and I wasn't sure I had figured out how to be okay with my own female personhood, never-mind helping a whole new person navigate those muddy waters. I mean between the prostitot clothing and the undernourished hollywood actresses and the overwhelming barrage of advertising and media that continues to undermine a woman's worth how that hell was I going to raise an empowered, strong, intelligent, grounded, confident woman? So when I held my firstborn in my arms and looked down at this perfect little GIRL I knew I had a responsibility to figure it out! I admit in the blur of the first few months I did not worry about any of the aforementioned crap - she was too little and I had way too much feeding and changing and washing diapers and admiring her adorableness to even think about the long term raising of this Being of Perfection. But eventually I realized that I did need to think about it so I turned to my trusted confidant - Mistress Internet.

-Hey Internet, I'm worried about raising my kid right, any advice?

-What sort of child are you hoping to raise?Vegan? Pacifist? Granola? Conservative? Attached? Independent? Responsible? Spirited? Gifted? Left-brain? Right-brain? Left-wing? Right-wing?

-Uhhh -wait, I don't know, you know what Mistress Internet, I'm going to consult Madame Amazon on this one.

Thankfully Madame Amazon did not let me down and I came across a book that I ordered and read in short order. It is called "Mother Daughter Wisdom: Understanding the Crucial Link between Mothers, Daughters and Health" by Dr. Christiane Northrup. It is a truly wonderful and inspiring book and a must read for anyone raising daughters. While I did not necessarily agree with everything Dr. Northrup wrote, the book really made me think about how to be a conscious parent. Her straightforward, easy to read style perfectly blends anecdotal and medial experience to help every parent understand the major physical, emotional and neurological milestones of our children. She also explores the profound impact mothers have on their daughters throughout their lives. Not only is the book a great starting point for figuring out how to raise an empowered, strong, intelligent, confident woman but it also provides numerous resources to continue that learning journey. Okay so I am starting to sound like an advertisement for this book - but it really is great so check it out of your local library or order it from Amazon or go to your local bookstore or borrow it from a friend but you won't regret reading it!

What is normal?

I heard about a child development specialist who conducted a study to determine if all parents were concerned with being "normal". She had been seeing many different parents and she found that they all seemed to wonder if their parenting choices were within the "normal" range as compared to other parents. She undertook a study of primarily North American parents to determine if their worries were universal - she found that they were. In a nutshell, all parents wondered if they were "normal". I must admit, I have never had this thought cross my mind. Perhaps I have taken for granted that my parenting choices thus far have been unconventional. I cloth diaper, I co-sleep, I never let my child "cry it out". I chose midwifery, I agonize over vaccinations (I have chosen an alternate vaccination schedule and have omitted some of the standard vaccines) and carry my baby in a sling as much as possible. I nurse her to sleep, she has never even napped in her crib. I hope to breastfeed as long as I can. I have never wondered if I am normal because I know I am not. To tell you the truth it is liberating to know that you are not "normal". I don't feel like I am in a competition with other parents - I feel like I am in a different race. That is not to say that I have an issue with anyone who chooses to parent in a different way - as far as I am concerned, whatever works as long as the baby and the parents are happy and healthy. I'm sure that when my Darling Daughter gets a little older I may have more concerns about normalcy but for now I am content to be to know that "normal" is not what I am. Answer the poll if you want or add a comment about "normal".

Comfort

I was watching Oprah today (I know, I know but she's OPRAH!) and the show was about, what else, the economic downturn. She had two families on who were conspicuous consumers and they both took part in an experiment where they tried to live more consciously. No spending on non-necessities, no TV, no Internet, fewer toys, clothes etc. While I can't really relate to the over the top spending these people were doing, the crazily overstocked pantry of one of the women struck a chord with me. She said that she shopped everyday and while she always made sure she was getting a bargain, she was buying much more than her small family could eat in a year. I mean she had BOXES and BOXES of pasta and granola bars and rice and shampoo and cereal and chips... Yet it struck me that there was something appealing about that for me. Not that I keep crazy amounts of food in my house but I can understand the comfort that having food brings. My husband once observed after we had moved that I never really seem settled and comfortable in a new place until I have filled my fridge. It made me wonder where that comes from - as a child we never had empty cupboards, there was plenty of food and I never had any idea about whether it was had for my parents to fill those cupboards. We always had enough of everything. I've wondered if my full-fridge thing has some bad connotation, if it is indicative of something missing, something I feel like I need to fill. I realized today that it is just the opposite. I don't covet designer labels, I gladly accept hand-me-downs for my child, we don't drive a fancy car and we want for nothing. Our lives are full. My full fridge is my daily reminder of my bounty - I am lucky that my fridge is full and I am even luckier that when it is empty I don't have to worry about how I will fill it again. I have to say that I agree with Oprah when she says that this economic downturn may be a blessing in disguise - it may force us all to think about what is important to us. Sometimes the things that give us comfort and security are empty and we can do without them. But sometimes the things that give us comfort and security make us realize how full our lives really are.

I think when it comes down to it we all have simple everyday things that make us feel safe and comforted - I'd love to hear about what yours may be!

Photo by The Vegerator