Friday, March 13, 2009

I miss working at Starbucks

I was on Plinky today and one of the prompts reminded me that I miss working at Starbucks. Okay, so I don't really miss working at Starbucks - people can be total assholes, especially when they are un-caffeinated and resentful. I do miss seeing the amazing people I worked with at Starbucks.

The specific prompt that reminded me of these wonderful people was asking who would win in a fight between a shark and bear. How did that remind me of my Starbucks pals? Well I worked with a wonder gal who had a deathly fear of both bears and sharks. Part of our responsibilities at Starbucks was to clean the washrooms. One day before she was heading in to clean up, we decided to draw a picture of a melded shark-bear. You know, shark head, teeth gleaming and a ferocious, be-clawed bear body. We told her that she should be careful because a Shark-Bear was known to come out of toilets. She was terrified! Rationally she knew that this could not happen but I have never seen anyone clean a bathroom faster!

Other hilarious things I heard or saw my fellow Starbuckians do:

"You can't smell botulism" our manager said as she held a bottle of salad dressing that had been living in the fridge for an inordinate amount of time.

"Be quiet or I'll put you in a box" a guy says to his 3 year old as he tries to pick up my friend by "remembering" her from high school and regaling her with tales of his hydroponic store as she is trapped behind the counter making drinks.

"Dare me to eat this spoonful of cinnamon?" from a male Starbuckian on a slow evening
"C'mon, I'm going to do it" and he does, after which he coughs, releasing a cloud of pure cinnamon powder, almost obscuring his beet red face and streaming eyes.
"Why did I do that?" he laments, after recovering 10 minutes later.

"Oh, she hates little people, didn't you know?" says one partner to a rather small partner, about our manager.

"That guy was totally looking at me weird" says the partner making drinks to the partner on till
"That's 'cuz I wrote your phone number on the cup you just gave him"

"It's okay that they bring their kids to pick coffee because if they didn't, the kids would be left home alone" a manger told me after a week of indoctrination at a national convention.
"Huh - why don't you think about that statement and tell me if you still believe that in a week"

"Hey - do you know where I can buy some crack?" says crack-head to our manager as she WALKS to the banks with a deposit across the parking lot of a nice, safe suburb shopping mall.
She wasn't freaked out - just insulted that he thought she knew where to get crack!

These are just the few that I can think of off the top of my head - if any of my starbucks pals has a story they want to add, please put it in the comments!!

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